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With Gay Abandon Visits... Leslie & The Lys!
THE REVIEW:
Club Lambi, on a Wednesday evening... Mild- mannered crowd fills the room, gingerly sipping their cosmos and making small talk. Suddenly, the lights dim and a video clip kicks in.... '80s spandex and headbands fills the screen... French cut unitards perfect thigh raises in uncanny synchronicity.... All the while a bangin' dance beat begins to fill the room.... Then, two amazingly outfitted dancers hit the stage, warming up the audience's gaze for the forthcoming glamour of Leslie Hall. Out of nowhere, Leslie appears, like a magical dancing queen. Between the three of them, their sheer volume of shiny spandex on stage should cause temporary blindness from the reflection alone. Their custom made gold spandex one-sies are not only awe-inspiring but are a perfect example of Leslie's handiwork - her website boasts made-to-order spandex outfits.
For the next hour and a half, the crowd is treated to a fully interactive show involving crowd participation, video projections that haven't seen the light of day in the last twenty years, death-defying dance stunts, costume changes, and of course, the grace of Leslie's self-taught dance moves. Their choreography and tailor-made stage props put almost any other live performer to shame, Leslie and the LYS put on one of the best live performances, rivalling a good ol' Vegas show number. Some highlights include her rotating booty-loveliness on a made-to-order spinning plate to her song “Blame The Booty,” and an impromptu appearance by Mayor Jazz, complete with elf ears, unbeknownst to Leslie and her band, referencing one of the characters in her hit song “Tight Pants/Body Rolls.”
Currently touring her latest album, “Back 2 Back Palz,” Leslie pays tribute to tight pants, non-stop dancing, beanie babies and handcrafting gems. She even does a song in honour of Kevin Costner's majestic “WaterWorld” movie of the mid 1990s. Leslie spreads her message of gem craftiness and gold spandex across the globe, all while touting her fierce Iowa pride. Her fans are die-hard wherever she travels, many coming out sporting their own gem sweaters, with high hopes of being inducted into the Gem Sweater Hall of Fame by Leslie herself. The combination of booty-shaking beats, catchy lyrics, fantastic outfits and complete fan-demonium makes any live Leslie and the LYS performance one not to be missed. Check out her website for tour dates and merch swag, or even perhaps your own tailor-made spandex one-sie!
THE INTERVIEW:
Julie: Okay, here we are at Club Lambi, in this gorgeous green room with Leslie from Leslie & the Lys. And we are going to talk to you about...
Leslie: Thank you for having me! I really hope that this is hilarious.
J: [laughing] I'm sure it will be.
L: Yes!
J: Okay first! What about your name, Leslie & The Lys. Is there a special meaning behind that?
L: Um, there is a meaning that, “I'm going to give a band a name and then the band is not going to go anywhere so I'll change it later”, well that didn't turn out to be the case. Clearly I gave it a name. It exploded. It became a gia- it went from a baby puppy into a giant huge mechanical arm that now i use to touch people.
J: That's amazing, and it really has touched people. Like here we are up in Canada and it has touched people all across this great nation of ours.
L: Yesss! Sometimes I wonder if it's touching the cast of Degrassi High.
J: I'm sure it is. The new cast or the old cast?
L: Old cast.
J: Yep, of course. Did I need to ask. So speaking of being in Canada and you being from Iowa. You promote a great sense of Iowa pride. How does that go over when you travel?
L: Well clearly I think that there is a sense that you Canadian people have the same desires to talk about yourselves – when I look around your town and see tiny flags everywhere, and little leafs. I mean you guys love that little leaf don'tcha? You put it everywhere, it's on shampoo bottles! And license plates! It's on McDonald's signs and peoples' sneakers! I even saw a donut with sprinkles. And who is Tim Horton and why do you guys love him so much?
J: Do you know the one thing about Tim Horton's is actually the chain has been bought by an American company.
L: [Gasps] KACHING! That's money, that's money...that's one point for America.
J: That's globalization. [claps] little claps...So where do you draw your inspiration from?
L: Um probably being at home alone watching TV, being bored, wanting attention from people. That kind of thing. I mean I cannot say I am reading a magazine about a child with no legs who walks. Or a man with no eyes, but great breath. I'm doing it because I need it for me.
J: Good answer. Okay, you have a new album just out. Can you talk about the inspiration for this new album?
L:Yeah, that would probably have to be Iowa, that Iowa pride thing. That loving your town. I think again with the loneliness. My good- I gotta make some friends or something. Too much sky and too darn much gravel in ma shoes. It's uh, that's it. “Gosh wouldn't it be fun to have a real band that plays instruments” - And I thought that would, you know everyone can play country cause it's got that easy sound? But turns out robots do it better so I had my computer do it for me.
J: Nice.
L: Yeah, and I don't have to pay musicians. BOOYAH!
J: And once again [Claps] little claps, little claps. On your website you advertise Gay Weddings. How is that going for you as a business venture?
L: Well...let's just say I should've put my pennies in my mouth before I did that. Because all I'm booking are lesbian couples and they require... “do this for me! Get that for me! Don't forget...! I want this...” I'm like “Ladies, ladies, ladies! Just let me sh...just show up, I'll watch you seal the deal, and everybody's going to be fine about it.” I have my first wedding in a couple of months, I'm really excited to see how it goes but performing on a ferry boat is on of 'em. One of them we're performing at a Holiday Inn banquet room in my hometown. One lady wants a bunch of chickens and I've only got...Zero at this point because of a raccoon that decided to take away my overhead...And other than that I get a lot of inquiries about doing Friendship Ceremonies. So...I think more people need to get married.
J: If you were to get married, what would your dream wedding be like?
L: I would probably...oh geez, after I perform a few weddings I'll know more about what I want. It would probably...maybe I'm designing my perfect wedding. Illegal fireworks, a Culvers – do you have Culvers? Is this foreign to you? It is a custard ice cream versus an ice cream. Even though it would be...Oh yeah, I wouldn't get that, I would have the, I wouldn't get the custard ice cream. I would get a Vegan custard ice cream. It would probably involve carrots, and pineapple juice. Because I think that makes it sweet and salty.
J: Carrots are sweet, pineapple is sweet.
L: Touché!
J: Hmm. We can perfect that.
L: Yes
J: We have some time.
L: We have some time. Oh I got plenty of time. Trust me, there is no wedding plans for me in the future!
[clapping]
J: Little claps, little claps.
L: The only person marrying me is my mirror reflection, because damn I'm pretty!
J: That's a good answer! Big claps! Big claps! So what is the status of the travelling Gem Museum, and when can we expect it in Montreal?
L: This interview just took a very depressing turn, I might add! The 24 Foot RV is really un-drivable because it is extremely old. Never buy something off Ebay that is older than 36 years. That is a golden rule! Yeah, so ideally, in Montreal I would be flown here with a bunch of suitcases like in that movie Legally Blonde.
J: Yeah, and there's like new baggage regulations coming from the US, so I wonder how that might go over...
L: It might require me to get a ferry boat.
J: Yeah, well you'll have one next week...next month for a wedding?
L: Yes, It will just require a space large enough and I will display them and I'll have people come in. I will dance and sing with them, and I'll let them touch my face.
J: Amazing. In the meantime...yep, little claps [clapping] maybe we could have a virtual tour? Do you think that could exist before an actual tour here?
L: Yes I do think that is a lot more feasible.
J: That could be fun! That could be interactive. We could touch your face on the internet.
L: Yes, just wipe your monitor off afterwards.
J: Okay...So you ahh...promote and recommend the Bedazzler quite a bit...
L: Nooo! I have no affiliation with...
J: No, this is what I was going to get to, you be-gem items. I'm not going to use that trademark word. Have they, has there been...I'm sensing maybe this might be a little bit of unpleasant...
L: Let me tell you about the corporate America bedazzling industry.
J: Yeah, yeah! This is the meat and bones of our interview.
L: These are the bones. They don't know who is really selling these products. People from a reality show, from like four years ago. She's not selling these things like I am. I am in the streets.
J: You are!
L: Sellin' the blank out of 'em! However, I wouldn't even wanna sell them anyway. I'd want to support puffy paint being stuck on the back, or hot glue gun. I'd like to contact the... Hot glue gun industry please contact me, my number is [....].
J: Okay well I'm glad. I wanted a bit of that political tension. And I'm...
L: You got it! You really raised my temperature drawer!
[screaming]
J: Okay, well how 'bout a happy thought here. If you were tomorrow taken to a desert island, what crafts supplies would you bring with you?
L: ...
J: It must have crossed your mind.
L: I would bring a square box. I would bring my TV, that, I would use it as a floating device and when it got rainy I would shield it like a tent. I would probably also bring...
J: Maybe puffy paint?
L: Nope! I wouldn't bring puffy paint.
J: I would think puffy paint would be float-y.
L: No I would bring pony beads. Because I would be making ropes from twine and I could make friendship bracelets, necklaces, and I could probably make...uhh hair ties.
J: That would be good, you could maybe get into hair braiding if there's other people come visit you on the desert island.
L: Maybe it's time, maybe when I'm on that island I will learn to french braid, finally mother!
J: So what is next for you Leslie?
L: Well, if all works well, then my next plan will probably be...let's see here, putting my name on a bunch of products and selling it at TJ Maxx. Do you have that?
J: No.
L: Let me ref...let me change the name so this region can understand what I'm saying. I will put my name, I'll probably do like a perfume line.
J: Nice.
L: Or, like fragrances.
J: It would be like a, a bodywash?
L: Yeah, maybe a bodywash collection. I'd have um, grit in there. And that way you could exfoliate the residue...And it would probably smell like honey moons, or Kate Winslet.
J: Nice, nice.
L: You, don'tcha think she'd smell good?
J: Yeah totally! I think so for sure I've always thought that actually.
L: Oh absolutely, she just looks like she reeks...
J: Of goodness.
L: Yeah, touchés.
J: Is there anything you'd like to add?
L: Um i'd like to thank you for having me on this radio station.
J: Thank you!
L: That is internet!
J: That's right, it's internet AND AM.
L: Oooh!
J: Internet and AM!
L: That's double trouble. Yeah I really hope that the people reading this want to learn more! And go to my website, and maybe pick up my jams. I will ship international and not charge you that much! Even though it takes a while. Does that really torque Canadians off?
J: No because we have grown accustomed to it, and like a good Canadian, we are used to have to put up with that kind of...
L: And I want to apologize , because I like [Canadians], all the times I've made fun of Canadians for going “Soourreeeey!” and um and I just wanted to apologize. And you know what, also because I think you guys have come up with some really good inventions – ketchup chips, Bla...Green olives at Subway, Um...putting crowns on street signs. Having your cross-walks, the guy look like he's really enjoying a nice brisk walk.
J: [laughing] It's true.
L: Um, also I really appreciate...what else is good here, I can't think of anything else... Yeah I was going to say that it's cool that you guys live up here because it's so wintery, but we have it all in America, so come pick it up!
J: Have you had any maple syrup yet?
L: No, but I really hope to tap into a tree and get some.
J: Yeah, that's the way to do it. That's the real deal. Sugar shack style. [laughing] You liked that didn't you?
L: Yes! I'm speech-lied! You know when I see people from Japan in America I think “I hope you flew over here with a bunch of Hello Kitty products and electronics because they have something so much different over there. I hope when you Canadians visit America you bring over like weird bizarre things that you can't get down there. Because it's kind of like a waste if you don't.
J: Yeah, I agree. Wholeheartedly.
L: Because people will buy it down there. I love it when your packaging has french talk on one side of it. We don't have it down there!
J: That's the law.
L: [laughing] You serious?
J: [laughing] Oh, yes!
L: That's a law? Um...FYI sweet move that your Snickers bars say “Believe” on them!
J: Oh, that's Olympic!
L: Ours just say “Snickers”, so even that's cool.
J: That's Olympic pride right there, on our Snickers bars.
L: What a community! Go and believe!
J: Yeah!
L: Wow.
J: That's Canada right there! In two words.
L: Go believe!
J: Yeah, go believe!
L: Um, do you guys hate Obama still?
J: Umm...
L: Or you like Obama?
J: I'm...indifferent. How do you feel about Obama? Are we about to talk politics?
L: Oh, I just didn't know!
J: I'm...
L: I know you guys have opinions...
J: Yeah, I think my opinions are a bit different than your general Canadian's opinions. How do you feel about Obama?
L: I don't...I have a tote bag with his face on it.
J: That's fun.
L: Yeah...
J: I remember seeing in New York, ah.. Glasses that said “Vote Obama”.
L: Yes, yes.
J: Sunglasses.
L: Passionate. Now those sunglasses have been crushed and remade into plastic bags. Recycling. We're trying to get recycling down there. Are you guys into that at all?
J: We are, we're Canada. Canada recycles.
L: That's cool, that's cool.
J: Ummm...
L: Hey what's the deal with those shacks on the interstate where those ladies sell candies out of a hut?
That is a...
J: I think it's a... dealing with the downturn of the economy.
L: That is an invention. She's actually selling good snacks too!
J: Dill pickle chips? Ketchup Chips?
L: Yeah, ketchup chips. And other stuff that was just like... “this is available!” It was shockingly inspiring!
J: Where are you off to after this?
L: After this we will be heading south and then west and then north again.
J: Back to Canada?
L: No no.
J: This is your last Canadian stop? Well let's make it a good one!
L: Yes, let us...If you're reading this now I just want you to know you just missed the best show, ever!
J: Yes, it's true. I can vouch for that. But coming up, oh little mini claps [clapping] And we also are quite fond of Water Water Waterworld.
L: [laughing] I knew it would be appreciated somewhere and Canada is in the country.
J: Canada gets it!
L: Canada gets it! Dangit!
News March 26th 2010
Produced by Drew Pascoe, read by Erica Fisher
Stories by Jonathan Moore, Alina Gotcherian, Jose Espinoza
Today's Shows Canceled Until Further Notice
** Update 5:45 PM: Power has been restored and we are back! Some shows will be coming in tonight as planned so feel free to tune in to all our great programming as usual.
Thursday, March 25th:
Please note that today's shows are unfortunately canceled until further notice due to a gas leak at the Loyola Campus. The CJLO offices are also closed for the day until the issue is resolved.
Thank you for your understanding.
- CJLO Staff
** Update: The power is also out at Loyola and unfortunately our back up power supplies only last us so long. There is currently dead air at cjlo.com and 1690 AM in Montreal. We are working to fix the problem as soon as the power is restored and we are able to access the studios. Thank you for your patience.
Battle Of The Bands - The Judges Pt. 2
Omar Goodness is a devoted man. CJLO's music director (and host of "Hooked On Sonics") has spent countless (read: probably thousands of) hours, wasting precious moments of his life listening to a large amount of music spanning differing genres, some of it good, most of it pretty bad. He feels as though he's earned the right to sit in judgement of the bands performing. His mom calls him "nice, humble and caring", a just and righteous man fit for holding the proverbial gavel. Goodness also tends to wear his musical heart on his sleeves: his love of all that combines noise and pop, the sweet and the sour, merged with the strange lust for the mathtacular, angular rock that lives in the bowels of his being are plainly evident to anyone who's been inside CJLO's studios over the last near-decade. His turn-offs include sucking and "choosing style over substance", as well as most nu-metal bands.
The way to Goodness's heart is paved with explosions and other displays of overt pyromania, so bands wishing to bribe him just do well to keep this in mind.
BVST host (as well as layout guru) Angelica claims that being judgmental is what she's best at. Her mother explains that inside of that iron fist she calls a soul, there's a "fair human being". Her cool reserve as well as her ability to dish it out liberally makes her an ideal judge for this particular battle. Having put in her time in the annals of the Canadian music industry (working at one of the country's biggest independent labels for a while), she will take no guff. She can tell good from bad, the terrible from the terrific. Her rock, metal, punk and country tendencies are on display through her Wednesday night show, the longest-running at the station. Don't piss her off by phoning it in or constantly begging the crowd to join in, because that won't work. She can smell that coming from a mile away. Exempt, though, are owners of sweet-ass beards and free brews. An easy bribe for a fierce figure.
Battle Of The Bands - The Judges Pt. 1
Attention ignorant jerks: compared to what’s about to go down, Rock Band’s masturbatory displays are for your little cousin. Religious beliefs are gonna be suspended. Puppies ‘ll look ugly, Al Gore’s gonna apologize. Think I’m talking about the apocalypse? Fuck you: that’s in 2012.
I’m speaking about the upcoming CJLO Battle of the Bands – an occasion that separates the true heroic jerks from the jerk-offs, those who will go on to cut quality music versus those who’ll be in their mid-forties cutting mom’s bushes.
And for those looking for an edge in what’s shaping up to be some pretty stiff competition, here are the candid bios of three judges. That’s right – the judges, the amazingly-impartial, infallible ubermensches who will be justly deciding which band is worthy enough of claiming the title of champion.
First on the list is Mikey Rishwain Bernard, who, for ten impressive years, worked in California's vast music scene. Despite his ex-pat status, Bernard is still close to his roots, citing Stockton/Sacramento Ca. bands Pavement, Grandaddy, and Hella as his primary musical influences. While his mother tells people he’s a former altar-boy, Mikey insists he’s got some pretty damn good reasons for being judgmental when it comes to music. In addition to his prestigious LA resume, not only is his father Robert Goulet’s cousin, but both his old man and brother are excellent drummers – demonstrating that musical talent is certainly alive in his family. Ultimately, this judge insists that he looks poorly on bands who would dare to sleep with any of his girlfriends or who look in the mirror before they get on stage. While Mikey is immune to monetary bribes, he assures me he’s willing to have some back-room discussions with anyone who can get him Pavement B-sides or John Peel sessions.
Jonathan Cummins is a hard-nosed judge from the Clint Eastwood school of few words and lots of cajones. He's played in a bunch of bands including Doughboys, Bionic and Treble Charger. In addition to being an accomplished musician, Cummins has amassed a ton of street cred as a writer and critic for the alternative scene in the Montreal Mirror. Given his ton of experience in the music biz - both on and off the stage, he was asked by people far better than you to take his rightful and prestigious place amid this fine constellation of worthy judges. Immune to any and all forms of bribery, Jonathan enjoys rock and will be critically evaluating bands based solely on their ability to “not suck”.
So there you have it – a sampling of two of the judges for the upcoming Battle of the Bands – their experiences, qualifications, musical influences, and predilections towards bribery. Don’t say we haven’t tried to help you.
Now get out there and win this thing.
Battle Of The Bands - Band Profiles Pt. 2
Prolifically putting out promo EPs and material since 2007, the band is looking to expand their attack, taking it to air and sea to Deutschland in the next year or two. Their vibe and sound would not be at all out of place there, where arguably, many of their influences have nurtured their inspiration. Goth, Industrial, IDM, Aggrotech, whatever you want to call it, this is the kind of dance music that pale kids wearing all black and (in a lot of cases) latex are dancing to with their heads down in existential glee. They are working on an as-yet-untitled new album which they look to release in 2010-2011 which promises to *ahem* "fucking DESTROY YOU".
With such a simple two person set up, it is certain that this makes their live show open to many possibilities. Many of the songs they have released are epic length and feel more like dark, moody homages to characters you've never seen, nor would you want to meet. With laptops and keyboards aplenty and vocal tracks that have been peppered with modulation and filters aplenty, their appearance at the CJLO Battle of the Bands promises to be decidedly combative.
Battle Of The Bands - Band Profiles Pt. 1
Go ahead and Google Interracial Love Triangle. You will find yourself referred to the Myspace profile of a self-described two-piece minimalist garage rock band – as well as a video that features a clip from the Jerry Springer show, in which Springer addresses the controversy of interracial love. “We promote love in our music and this clip saddens us very deeply,” says Matt Smith. Their music plays out with heavy riffs, raunchy guitars and driven vocal cries. One wonders if the love is in the resonance of the salad and popcorn bowls the band calls their drum kit? Smith says that “the metallic resonance that is created is symbolic… we strive to express the importance of pure, unadulterated tonality and clarity.” Or maybe having become known for their out-of-control live performances, the love can be found amongst the local neighbours they’ve come to share their frenzied stage with: Dead Wife, Homosexual Cops. Here is a loud, loving band that aims to “serve some kind of justice to mankind symbolically; with a popcorn bowl.”
For a friendly twist to the competition, refer to Stereochic – an electro/rock girl band, who are eager to introduce themselves to you. “We definitely love the idea of playing for an audience who is not there specifically and solely to see us; we hope that we can pleasantly surprise them and perhaps gain a fan or two.” Stereochic first sprouted from a West Island garage jam session featuring Lana Cooney, Isabelle Banos, and Jessie Kravitz. The band claims to have fully blossomed with the entrance of a girl named Laura Van Vlaardingen and her synth. “We always felt something was missing from the original trio… Laura and her 'synthical savvy' changed all that for us,” says Cooney. Stereochic offers a subtle flavour of token girl-band harmony, which they then in turn compliment alongside electric sounds - combining the catchy with shoegazing intensity. The band definitely does not limit themselves to gender-specific labels. “We just happen to be four ladies with the same vision.”
Give a young girl from Vancouver a guitar and just wait for the sounds of lo-fi acoustic indie pop to rise. This is something Elgin-Skye (often accompanied by Vincent Reid Hopkins) is happy to provide. Elgin-Skye acknowledges, “…as a solo artist it can be hard to distinguish my music from other guitar-wielding females.” Then just wait for the imminent comparisons of a Joanna Newsom and or Regina Spektor variety. But such comparisons are invalid – these are not pretty songs about pretty things. Elgin-Skye has provided herself with a set of vulnerable and undressed songs, with subtle hints of fuller orchestration. Here is a musician you just know uses the word “lovely” more than most, ready and able to distinguish herself from the crowd. “There are a lot of ideas floating around in my head of how I would like my music to sound, but it’s hard to do with only ten fingers and ten toes.”
Electric Six @ Sala Rossa
I’ve never seen Electric Six in concert. Well, not until March 11 at Sala Rossa, but I mean before that. I, like many other young romantics who have never taken out a student loan and are bohemian and free spirited enough to let (that’s right, like ALLOW) their parents pay their rent, tend to remember soundtracks to various relatively insignificant events. Or maybe mostly the soundtracks to events that make entertaining stories, thereby impressing or charming those around you, be they friends, acquaintances or urban Montreal residents as a whole (aka Red Mass). Not so much a story for the parents though, and this is why: The first night in my life where Electric Six played a significant role was spent in a refurbished and only relatively familiar basement around Hunt Club (if it matters), Ottawa. This evening was a particularly “mind expanding” and “groovy” one, if you catch my drift (wink, wink). My two not-so-close-but-close-enough high school friends had become obsessed with one of the band’s two most popular singles, 'Danger! High Voltage'. So, between listening to the Beatles, staring at the floor, staring at the ceiling and pathetically attempting to play Backgammon they would sing the lines to each other in a call and response fashion: “DON’T YA WANNA KNOW WHY WE KEEP STARTIN’ FIYAHS! IT’S MY DESIRE!” “Wait,” I thought, “fire in the… Taco Bell? Totally righteous, man.” This statement seemed bold, subversive, overwhelmingly political and important at the time; my curiosity was officially sparked. Also there was that Jack White association, and I’ve always thought he was a total dreamboat.
All this to say that March 11, 2010 I finally had the opportunity to catch the band live, expecting nothing less than a ridiculously crazy show, a potential flashback of sorts and maybe having sex with Jack White. Well, I guess you can imagine I was quite sorely disappointed. In summary: Why was I not being showered in vodka Redbulls? Where are the naked dancing leather-daddys? Where are the numerous man on man on woman sexcapades? More importantly, WHERE IS JACK WHITE?! If you aren’t already completely uninterested in what occurred at the Sala Rosa that faithful Thursday night, feel free to keep reading while I elaborate. If that’s not the case, I won’t be offended if you stop reading now.
I walk into the venue fashionably late. Maybe a little too fashionably late. However, I catch the opening band’s last few songs. They are called Sweet Thing and hail from the GTA, or Greater Toronto Area for those not in the know. They are talented, but quite frankly, who cares. If you are a fan of Rent but dislike any semblance of wit, check them out. Maybe I’m being too harsh, but I didn’t realize I volunteered to review the Canadian Idol jam band 2010; good looking and argyle vested with an affinity for intricate harmonizing, Sweet Thing sound a little like a mixture of Muse, Maroon 5 and ‘Black Parade’ era My Chemical Romance. I just wish they sounded like the Beach Boys. I figured it’d be very difficult to flatter them in this article, and this difficulty came to fruition earlier than expected when conversing with a friend of the band. “What did you think of that last band?” I asked her, waiting around for Electric Six to set up. “Oh, they’re really great, aren’t they? Yeah one of my good friends from Toronto’s in that band! What did you think?” “They were… yeah, totally, they’re from Toronto? That’s nuts!” I reply. Smooth, Kelly. Very, very smooth.
Okay, Electric Six time. Firstly, the crowd is incredibly excited. Also, incredibly French. As an introduction, the band talks about how much Ontario “sucks” and everyone cheers. I then make a mental note to keep my identity and origins secret for the remainder of the evening in fear of complete ostracization. They also cracked a couple region specific jokes about Leonard Cohen. The band looks aged and beer bellied, and at least one of them is wearing clothing reminiscent of my brief mall goth phase at the beginning of high school. Here’s the rundown of set high and low lights in order to keep this whole thing compact.
1) The band’s lead singer, Dick Valentine, has a pretty neat voice. This is often the band’s saving grace. Because of this, the band mostly sounds like a dancier, but super watered down MC5 for about 75% of the set.
2) Their lead guitarist looks like Slash with a sheepdog Ramone haircut. For some reason after this line in my notes I wrote “ Donovan? Transcendentenlighten me” so I’ll give y’all that too. Maybe that was the expected flashback.
3) The song “Down at McDonnelzzz” was a highlight. I just took a listen to the recorded version, and I must say it sounded much better live which was a nice surprise. One of the best songs of the night.
4) The crowd seemed to be having a great time, which is always nice to see. At least a core group of people were dancing, including one classy broad using her boyfriend as a stripper pole. Probably the most interesting audience member.
Truthfully, the whole show was mediocre at best. This article could very well have been a few sentences long, and it would go like this: “Sweet Thing are not very interesting, kind of like Adam Lambert minus the kitschy bisexual publicity stunts. Electric Six were pretty good, but ‘Gay Bar’ and ‘Danger! High Voltage’ were easily and by far the highlights of the night. If you’ve only heard their singles, take note the band doesn’t really sound like that for the most part. Well, kind of, but much less entertaining.” Like the band themselves said onstage in front of my very eyes, ears and soul: “Maybe Electric Six aren’t cool anymore.” Roger that, Dick Valentine, colour me underwhelmed.
Column: The High End Theory - Why 50 Cent Finally Flopped
Curtis was back in the news this week discussing his new European club influenced album Black Magic. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to map out the reason his best album since Get Rich was his worst performance on the charts to date.
Back in 2002, 50 was the hottest thing in the streets. He was this ominous figure who survived nine gun shots. He was buzzing in the streets with Wanksta, and he had Eminem and Dr. Dre co-signing him. "Then In Da Club" came out and the music world was turned upside down.
By the time Get Rich or Die Trying dropped a few months later in 2003, the buzz was defining. Records were broken and 50 had “the game in a chokehold.” After several successful G-Unit releases, it was time for The Massacre. Candy Shop was released, and though it caught on, it was nowhere near the impact "In Da Club" had. The album was still successful, though, due to people simply wanting to hear the follow-up to a classic.
For Curtis, the Kanye West competition and fabricated beef helped propel 50 to platinum, but the first week numbers were nowhere near what he was used to.
This go-round, there was no initial buzz, no follow-up expectations, and nobody to create competition with. 50 had to rely on his material alone. Unfortunately, over a year of pushbacks, single changes, and early leaks led to Curtis Jackson finally flopping. Ironically, Before I Self-Destruct featured his best work since 2003.
Time will tell if Black Magic can succeed on its merits, or if 50 will fall on his face one again.
March 22nd 2010
Produced and read by Gareth Sloan.
Reporter pack by Emily Brass.
Stories by Jose Espinoza and Sarah Deshaies.
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