Features

Column: Beard Of The Week - Lemmy

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww...

That's right. It's gross. It's also not really a beard. But ask yourself as you take a gander at Lemmy Kilmister's facial decor if, even for one second, you give a damn about its beard semantics. That's right, you do not. Now, this is probably because you are distracted by those two whatever-they-are's on his cheek, but nevertheless, let us begin analysis:


Column: The Barstool Genius – Episode 1

Attention friends, fans and other critics, after a long hiatus, I, The Barstool Genius - The Seagram Sage of saintly advice has returned – ready to answer all your questions and pour the quixotic elixir of wisdom into your souls like whiskey melting the ice in a tumbler.

Recently I received this email:

"Dear Barstool Genius,


Column: The High End Theory – The Wu Brand

There was a point years ago when it seemed as though the Wu-Tang legacy was dying out. Many of the artists had released more solo records, but nothing that had anyone talking. Then 8 Diagrams was released in 2007.

The album was not without its flaws. In fact, it had many. But with RZA’s genius on "The Heart Gently Weeps" and others, it was clear that the Clan still had something in the tank.


Bitchin' Kitchen TV Launch Party

Bitchin’ Kitchen Food Network Launch Party 

KOKO | Opus Hotel 

March 23, 2010

Nadia G and the Bitchin' Kitchen crew rocked KOKO, Italian-style, with music spun by DJ FRIGID and classic canzoni performed by Marco Calliari.

For more photos of the event, click here.

Bitchin' Kitchen airs on Food Network Canada April 1st @ 11pm EST. Watch it!


Movie Review: Until The Light Takes Us

First off, a word of warning: Until The Light Takes Us focuses on the Norwegian black metal scene that developed during the early '90s, and doesn’t really provide a concise history of the genre. This is not Black Metal 101, seeing as there is almost no coverage of black metal prior to or outside of that movement. If you’re peripherally familiar with the music and subculture, however, this film will flesh out the facts with some interesting personal perspectives which novices and diehard fans alike will very much enjoy.


Beard Of The Week - Freeway

This week's beard comes recommended from none other than CJLO's own distinguished program director/host of The Phantastiq Cypha, Doc Holidae. When trying to sell me on this particular beard, the only thing he had to say was "neck beard." Yes, this week's edition is the premier of neck beards on BOTW!


Battle Of The Bands - The Judges Pt. 1

Attention ignorant jerks: compared to what’s about to go down, Rock Band’s masturbatory displays are for your little cousin.  Religious beliefs are gonna be suspended. Puppies ‘ll look ugly, Al Gore’s gonna apologize. Think I’m talking about the apocalypse?  Fuck you: that’s in 2012.  

I’m speaking about the upcoming CJLO Battle of the Bands – an occasion that separates the true heroic jerks from the jerk-offs, those who will go on to cut quality music versus those who’ll be in their mid-forties cutting mom’s bushes.


Battle Of The Bands - Band Profiles Pt. 2

With a decidedly digital sound and the speed of a sci-fi car chase comes Left Side Neighbour, whose lineup consist of drummer Guy Juevich and "Everything Else" player Lucas Fowles.  The sound is aggressive, menacing, clean and dirty all at the same time and at time wouldn't be out of place in a CSI evidence testing montage (in a good way!).

Column: The High End Theory - Why 50 Cent Finally Flopped

Curtis was back in the news this week discussing his new European club influenced album Black Magic. So I thought I’d take this opportunity to map out the reason his best album since Get Rich was his worst performance on the charts to date.

Back in 2002, 50 was the hottest thing in the streets. He was this ominous figure who survived nine gun shots. He was buzzing in the streets with Wanksta, and he had Eminem and Dr. Dre co-signing him. "Then In Da Club" came out and the music world was turned upside down.


Column: The High End Theory - The Wait Is Over

If you were on Twitter or any hip hop blog last Thursday night there was no avoiding it. The moment so many people have been clamouring for ever since So Far Gone dropped finally arrived. Drake’s first single was now making rounds online. The question was: did it live up to the hype?


Beard Of The Week #3: Scott Niedermayer

Beard Of The Week is a column of life, music, people, and their beards. Each week Lachlan Fletcher of The Subplot and Unabridged will give you a great beard and shed some light on its significance, hopefully helping both the bearded and unbearded alike down the road to enlightenment.

 

 

Scott Niedermayer

 


Pages