DWARVES + Riptides @ Club Lambi

By K-Man - 05/08/2007

Tuesday night shows are usually a good excuse to have an easy going -early night. Unless you're going to see psycho-punkrock icons the Dwarves at the always intimate Lambi. It's almost impossible to describe these guys. I like to describe them through Dwarves related experiences.

Like back in '90 just after they released their 3rd(?) album Blood,Guts, and Pussy. My friend just got it and motored to the bus stop to come over and listen to it, you know.. bust shit up. Only he never made it. Some freak at the bus stop saw the cover art, peaking out from under his arm and tryed to beat the shit out of him, screaming blasphemy and all that stuff ( who'd think 2 naked women and a naked dwarf covered in blood would insight that kind of reaction! ) but in all fairness, these guys are dirty, filthy, nasty ( f*ck ) rockers.

In the black corner, hailing from Illinois, fighting out of sunny California, The Dwarves. In the white corner, fighting on home turf from Montreal, in the white diapers...the fans. Deliciously, debaucherously violent, this was a full on barn burner. These boys put the Sub Pop label on the map with their classic '90 release, Blood, Guts and Pussy.

They have been around since '85 and have broken every law/rule in the book....and then some..no joke, I'm still amazed that they even made it up into Canada, legally speeking.

Blag Dhalia (vocals) was in fine form this evening, ' Detention Girl ' was one of the first punches that landed flush in the face of the audience. Followed by the stiffest set of jabs I've heard live starting with these classic lyrics: "...I'm livin', I'm livin', I'm livin'...in the back seat of my car " from their song ' Back Seat Of My Car ', the second jab came in with there song ' Let's Fuck..', ".. I'm the best fucking fuck , in the whole fucking world....." genius, you just can't make shit like that up.

A swift 5 punch combination followed with ' Astro Boy ' , ' SFVD ', 3 songs from their  album Come Clean which were ' River City ',' Come Where The Flavor Is ', and ' Johnny On The Spot '( I think it was ' Johnny On The Spot ', or was it ' I Want You To Die ', honestly I was getting pretty ' punch' drunk.

" Going down to the drug store, gonna have me some fun.." was a left hook that sent the audience realing ( the first time that night ), from the song ' Drug Store '. HeWhoCannotBeNamed showed up as usual, wearing nothing but a Mexican wrestlers mask and swinging his guitars headstock ( among other things ) at anybody who got close enough to injure. I'm pretty sure it was Vag Amoral in the pocket, but I'm not sure if it was Salt Peter on bass. Their set list opened like a greatest hits list from their album Blood, Guts and Pussy, and I think the lead guit. actually was The Fresh Prince of Darkness.

These guys have been incorporating a special guest system ,when someone can't cross a border or state line. Including Nick Olivieri and the drummer from KMFDM , Dexter Holland( Offspring ), Black Josh Freese ( the Vandals ), Nash Kato ( Urge Overkill )...the list goes on. People hated these guys for years and now everybodys falling over each other to fill a potential spot...isn't that always the case?

Knock out punch came disguised as ' Fuck You Up And Get High ' ( an oldie but a goodie ), and the cool ' You Gotta Burn ' from there awsome '97 release The Dwarves Are Young And Good Looking, other than that, I honestly cannot remember all of the songs...and that is probably a good thing for a Dwarves show. These guys played a buh-roo-tal set.

When the final bell was rung, we picked ourselves off the canvas and our bells had been rung. They swiftly flew off the stage to catch their next bus to the corner of Psycho and Freakass. I feel priviledged to have been punched out by these legends. The Riptides....mmaaaahhhhhh, if they were food I could purge myself like a bulemic, but alas, I can't trow up my brain...or can I?   

[Check out Beyond That Graveyard! III every Friday from 9 pm to midnight ET only on CJLO!]